all-encompassingly

we still remember mitch hedberg

A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.

Archive for May, 2003

May 22nd 2003

ben kweller

i can’t get enough of ben kweller. the band produces poppy rock that has moments of soft folkiness and moments of exhilarating loudness–the latter bringing in sweet-sounding, crunchy guitar parts. kweller’s voice is very ben folds-esque, and the lyrics are often unexpected and interesting. overall, the band produces a unique and gratifying music […]

May 22nd 2003

of words, relating to words

if you have more than one bus, or more than one gas, you would say ‘buses’ or ‘gases’ rather than ‘busses’ and ‘gasses’.
while some words made up of the letter ‘w’ have only one or two syllables in them (like ‘witch’ and ‘wheaties’), the letter ‘w’ itself, when spoken, uses three. [du-bul-yoo]

May 22nd 2003

amazing visibility

for the first time ever, the earth was photographed from mars–and with amazing clarity and detail.
in case you can’t tell, its a planet, and it might be the earth. but, at the very least, it is an indistinguishable blob. that’s for sure.

May 19th 2003

“martyr” gets special surprise at pearly gates (UPDATED)

This unfortunate news item from today’s paper may provide a lesson for future would be “martyrs”

A Palestinian with explosives packed on the back of his bicycle drew up near an army jeep on patrol monday, and detonated his load, killing no one but himself, the Israeli area commander said. He said three soldiers were slightly […]

May 17th 2003

the moon

we should all be grateful that the moon orbits the earth at the distance that it does, because if the moon orbited the earth at a height of, say, 10 feet, that would be REALLY inconvenient.

May 15th 2003

consistency

in logic class on wednesday, we were discussing “consistency.” our professor’s position, in short, is that as humans in the complex modern world, we can’t be consistent. “consistency is nice for computers, but unlikely for humans.” –dr. carter.
for our purposes, let’s assume the following definition of “consistent”: “not contradictory; a consistent […]

May 15th 2003

smooth jazz

if you sprung for the high-speed internet, go ahead and turn on your speakers. this is your reward.
sorry there are no buttons, by the way. if you don’t like it, turn off your volume.

May 13th 2003

cheney got seinfeld vote

in another desperate attempt to win the 2000 presidential election, liberals are claiming that florida voters mistook vice-presidential candidate dick cheney for jason alexander, formerly “george” of seinfeld.

“they hadn’t seen him for a few years, except on those KFC commercials, so they thought it might really be him” a spokesman for florida democrats said […]

May 13th 2003

france to take tough stance on terror

in response to recent terrorist bombings in saudi arabia, several international leaders issued statements [read them]
notably, france condemned “with the greatest firmness” the bombings. france’s embassy there said three french nationals were injured and told its citizens to maintain “utmost vigilance.”
yeah. maintain “utmost vigilance.” because the french government, in the interest of peace, […]

May 13th 2003

these, and other tales of bravery

when the going gets tough, run away! just like democrats in texas, who knew they were going to lose a certain vote, so they holed up at the holiday inn in oklahoma for a few days. we can all be assured that in the future, it will be with wet eyes that texans […]