all-encompassingly

in logic class on wednesday, we were discussing “consistency.” our professor’s position, in short, is that as humans in the complex modern world, we can’t be consistent. “consistency is nice for computers, but unlikely for humans.” –dr. carter.
for our purposes, let’s assume the following definition of “consistent”: “not contradictory; a consistent [...]

if you sprung for the high-speed internet, go ahead and turn on your speakers. this is your reward.
sorry there are no buttons, by the way. if you don’t like it, turn off your volume.

in another desperate attempt to win the 2000 presidential election, liberals are claiming that florida voters mistook vice-presidential candidate dick cheney for jason alexander, formerly “george” of seinfeld.

“they hadn’t seen him for a few years, except on those KFC commercials, so they thought it might really be him” a spokesman for florida democrats said [...]

in response to recent terrorist bombings in saudi arabia, several international leaders issued statements [read them]
notably, france condemned “with the greatest firmness” the bombings. france’s embassy there said three french nationals were injured and told its citizens to maintain “utmost vigilance.”
yeah. maintain “utmost vigilance.” because the french government, in the interest of peace, [...]

when the going gets tough, run away! just like democrats in texas, who knew they were going to lose a certain vote, so they holed up at the holiday inn in oklahoma for a few days. we can all be assured that in the future, it will be with wet eyes that texans [...]

As recently revealed on the Drudge Report.

The Democrats continue to complain about President Bush’s landing on a sea carrier — and the resulting ‘Top Gun’ image…but see Senator Patrick Leahy [D-VT] already beat Bush to the pose, as this snap featured on Leahy’s very own website shows!

dear moms,

since we can’t be with you on this year’s mother’s day, we at all-encompassingly have composed an original song to commemorate this day and honor you. we hope this song will cheer your hearts as much as you have cheered us through the years.
it goes a little something like this be warned–we aren’t [...]

facing the glaring fact that everything he does as president until the november 2004 elections will be seen as a “shamless attempt to be re-elected” [read a short article--full text], george w bush has promised to run the country from an “undisclosed location” for the next 18 months.
white house spokesman, ari fleischer, said friday that [...]

without reservation, we recommend jiminy glick

THE OTHER DAY, president bush landed on the USS abraham lincoln, the most journeyed vessel (10 months at sea) in the entire military during the war on terror. he thanked the troops and addressed the nation. immediately, liberal henry waxman of california accused him of stealing american taxpayers’ money because he rode a [...]

a sign that i’m getting older is that i’m starting to amass a collection of half-used cold remedies on a shelf in my apartment. it is depressing, but very useful.

A recent article from CNN/Money began with the following line:
“The Bush administration launched a war on terror because of the alleged acts of Osama bin Laden.”
Alleged acts. Alleged??? Is CNN/Money “alleging” that the twin towers still exist? Or that the events of September 11th never “allegedly” happened?
This calls to memory the refusal [...]

doug and i live on aspen avenue. this street name has special significance to us because it represents [the attainable] utopia in the movie “dumb and dumber.” of course, the characters are a little confused about its location–lloyd thinks aspen is in california, harry thinks aspen is in france–but here’s one quotation:
“some place [...]