we still remember mitch hedberg

A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.

Archive for August, 2003

Aug 26th 2003

Grand Old Party

If only we could have block-parties like this where I live…
Republicans in Harris County, Texas, are holding a Dem-olition Derby.
They’re throwing a [grand old] party on Sunday to tear down the recently vacated county Democratic Party headquarters in Houston.
Guests have been asked to bring sledgehammers and other tools of destruction.
The building, which the Democrats had […]

Aug 20th 2003

Required reading for all liberals and would-be socialists

Courtesy of a recent email:
Taxes Explained
Let’s put tax cuts in terms everyone can understand.
Suppose that every day 10 men go out to dinner.
The bill for all ten comes to $100.
If it was paid the way we pay our taxes, the first four men would pay nothing; the fifth would pay $1; the sixth would pay […]

Aug 18th 2003

But what about that smell?

According to the NY Post:
A woman in France has been charged with keeping her elderly mother’s skeleton hidden at home for three years so she could continue collecting her mom’s pension.
Police made the grisly discovery in a Narbonne apartment. Health officials became concerned when they realized the elderly woman was not getting her prescription medicine.
Apparently, […]

Aug 14th 2003

travis stands behind ‘darn good’ intelligence

i’ll be splitting the next three weeks between the farm and the beach on what analysts are calling a “vacation.” to my chagrin, intelligence (darn good intelligence) has indicated that internet connections in these places may be unreliable (and that, perhaps, they are trying to obtain uranium from nigeria). so you may not […]

Aug 12th 2003

herb brooks

“At all levels of the game, including college hockey, Olympic hockey and the National Hockey League, Herb Brooks was a consummate teacher, an unparalleled motivator and an unquestioned innovator.” –gary bettman

[off wing opinion on brooks]
[miracle on ice]

Aug 12th 2003

why i hate the avs

my hatred for the NHL’s colorado avalanche has nothing to do with bill clinton (see photo, left). though, can’t you imagine clinton joking with his buddies after receiving the jersey, “too bad i wasn’t president in 1969! that jersey would’ve been a great conversation starter with the interns!”
no, my hatred stems from an […]

Aug 10th 2003

results of gay poll; new poll on blogging

the people (YOU) have responded! you are decisively opposed to gay marriage and gay couples’ adoption of (as-of-yet) mentally stable children. this is mostly because you would rather such phrases as “who’s your daddy?” be kept to the basketball courts and batters boxes of america–as trash talk. you would rather not force […]

Aug 8th 2003

More Liberal Hypocrisy

Thanks to for bringing the following to our attention:
This morning on NPR there was an unbelievable demonstration of liberal bias and liberal obtuseness. It began with a ridiculous story about how Amnesty International is worried about five thousand Iraqi prisoners of war being held in prison in Iraq. They are worried because the prisoners […]

Aug 6th 2003

amid tests and papers, some random thoughts…

1. conservatives want to kill murderers but not fetuses. liberals want to kill fetuses but not murderers. yes, its a generalization. and yes, it sounds sensationalistic, but think about it. i’m not that far off, am i?

2. some blacks want the US to make reparations for slavery. may […]

Aug 3rd 2003

SNL weekend update trivia

3 questions of saturday night live trivia:

1. how many different weekend update anchors have there been in the history of SNL?
(a) 7
(b) 24
(c) 12
(d) 17
2. who has had the longest stint as weekend update anchor?
(a) dennis miller
(b) kevin nealon
(c) colin quinn
(d) chevy chase
3. which one of these people was never an anchor […]