we still remember mitch hedberg

A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.

Jul 31st 2003

AE poll #1 results, poll #2 primer

in our first-ever informal idealogical poll, we received 26 votes in 8 days in answer to the question, “how do you feel about polls?” the clear-cut winner, garnering 50% of the vote, was the pope, the head of the catholic church, who is polish. i will ignore the obvious possibility that half of you were trying to send the message, “no more polls, just catholic doctrine, please!” instead, i’ll assume you just really like the cute little hunched-over fellow from vatican city (and, originally, poland). the complete results look like this:

1. i love polls!……………………………………………………………………..11% (3 votes)
2. polls are okay, but what’s REALLY great is the histograph……..15% (4 votes)
3. polls, shmolls….bring on the TROLLS!!!………………………………….3% (1 vote)
4. “polls are fictitious! bring on the food!” –michael moore………….7% (2 votes)
5. poles are fine until it gets dark and you bump into one. ouch!..11% (3 votes)
6. poles are great. my favorite one is the pope………………………..50% (13 votes)

so, yes. an ethnic joke won out over serious polling. but that’s okay. its all for fun, anyway.

surely you’re curious who the lone fool was who voted for the trolls one? i am that fool. i had just read this article on LGF, and i thought trolls were really funny that day.

our new poll (you can find it at the top right of this page) asks, “what would happen if gay couples could marry and adopt children?” i don’t know how well-phrased the question is, because i know both of these things go on already. but, i guess i mean, what if this practice became prevalent in the united states?

if none of the choices we’ve given sounds good to you, please tell us what you would say, instead, about the issue. you have 7-10 days to do any necessary research/deep metaphysical pondering and cast your final vote. thanks everyone,


4 Responses to “AE poll #1 results, poll #2 primer”

  1. derek battisti

    WOW…. what the freak is this. anywho, i always knew you were a special individual. but, about that gay couples thing with having a kid. chris didnt find it to difficult his dads were very understanding and they loved chris for who he was. they didnt judge him for the hockey player he was, but more for the person he became. so in my oppion those couples should be shot. bye bye

  2. Edmo


    I know this Battisti fellow. I believe his name is pronounced “Bah-Testie”. I know the Chris clown he’s talking about also. He was never a hockey player. He was more like a figure skater struggling with tardive dyskinesia (look it up!). As for Travis, well. . . what can we say about that accident?

    And as for the couples in question, I agree with Derek that they should be shot . . . out of a cannon. . . at Derek . . . and Chris.

  3. tardive dykinesia. ha.

    Tardive dyskinesia is a neurological syndrome caused by the long-term use of neuroleptic drugs. Neuroleptic drugs are generally prescribed for psychiatric disorders, as well as for some gastrointestinal and neurological disorders. Tardive dyskinesia is characterized by repetitive, involuntary, purposeless movements. Features of the disorder may include grimacing, tongue protrusion, lip smacking, puckering and pursing, and rapid eye blinking. Rapid movements of the arms, legs, and trunk may also occur. Impaired movements of the fingers may appear as though the patient is playing an invisible guitar or piano.

    chris, you are the only person i know that suffers from this, other than cheri oteri’s SNL character (remember her?), but she was made up.

  4. The HIllfactor

    umm, im quite confused however if i understand correctly i do belive that jim ross suffers from this unfortunate disease as well. umm, i think derek likes boys and ky is too smart for his own good. bye bye little guy.