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we still remember mitch hedberg

A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.

Aug 25th 2008

Ahhh…English

A funny poem I saw on Wikipedia today:

I take it you already know,
Of tough and bough and cough and dough.
Others may stumble, but not you,
On hiccough, thorough, laugh and through.
Well done! And now you wish, perhaps,
To learn of less familiar traps.
Beware of heard, a dreadful word,
That looks like beard and sounds like bird.
And dead – it’s said like bed, not bead,
For goodness’ sake, don’t call it ‘deed’!
Watch out for meat and great and threat,
(They rhyme with suite and straight and debt).
A moth is not a moth in mother,
Nor both in bother, broth in brother.
And here is not a match for there,
Nor dear and fear for bear and pear.
And then there’s dose and rose and lose –
Just look them up – and goose and choose.
And cork and work and card and ward,
And font and front and word and sword.
And do and go and thwart and cart –
Come, come, I’ve hardly made a start!
A dreadful language? Why man alive!
I’d mastered it when I was five.

2 Responses to “Ahhh…English”

  1. bnice

    i heard this poem in a linguistics class, and i am glad you memorialized it here. i feel for anyone that has to learn english.

  2. Larry Croix

    I agree with the final line of the poem. I thought learning English was very easy.