bush’s new new deal
in hopes of stimulating the economy, george bush has turned to the lessons of history.
he has announced that government will be returning to FDR’s new deal programs to help bring the nation out of the current economic “pooper.” effective immediately, all unemployed americans will be shipped off to the newly formed “labor” camp, code named “gulag,” which will be located in a remote section of montana.
because most dams, bridges, and public buildings have already been built, the new american labor force will largely be employed by the FCC, which may employ up to 300,000 men and women as “can you hear me now?” guys in a gutsy campaign to patch domestic cell phone service once and for all.
white house spokesman ari fleisher claims this move is done out of sympathy for the faithful, yet bedraggled verizon employee (above), but many democrats are condemning bush’s move as a publicity stunt, moreso even than when he won the iraq war, cut taxes, and didn’t cheat on his wife.