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we still remember mitch hedberg

A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.

Oct 27th 2003

california quagmire

fires continue to blaze out of control in california, having burned out an area about half the size of the state of rhode island according to one estimate. the terrible disaster comes as a shock to the republican administration that recently declared an end to major conflict in the state.

in fact, more people are dying every day in this quagmire that can only be compared to the disaster in vietnam. opinion journalist, helen thomas, has skillfully opined, “it is not ours to just die, but ours to reason why!” one would hope US leadership would consider her objective appeal to reason.

environmentalists are calling the fires 'the scourge god is sending to destroy SUV drivers.'  arabs are calling it either a zionist plot of the mossad or a punishment from allah for supporting israel.

ten fires have killed 20 and destroyed more than 800 homes, but governor schwarzenneger maintains that things in california are improving.

some believe the fires are being orchestrated by ousted leader gray davis, and many residents of san francisco and hollywood are beginning to wonder if we can really “win the peace”. they are asking whether california would have been better off without the recent takeover. but the administration contends most californians are pleased with the regime change. they say their efforts to restore order are being sabotaged by suicide fire-starters who are slipping over the border from the neighboring rogue state of berkeley.

responding to this latest outbreak of destruction, officials have stepped up security at such high-risk places as the el al israel desk at LAX.

still unaccounted for are some $38 billion. democrats say if the money is not found, the invasion of california could prove to be unjustifiable. the republican administration claims that the search is being carried out in a state the size of california, and thus may take some time.

2 Responses to “california quagmire”

  1. I heard that the satellite pictures of California are really cool looking. Please put the address you were looking at the other day on here so that I can see them. I don’t remember where you were looking. Thanks.

  2. admin

    http://www.rap.ucar.edu/weather/satellite/