all-encompassingly

we still remember mitch hedberg

A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.

May 21st 2009

Clinton Unveils Initiative to Combat ‘Scourge of Piracy’

CNN: Clinton unveils initiative to combat ‘scourge of piracy’. In this address, she implicitly threatens to invade Somalia, a country that has never attacked us.

Whatever happened to the disdain for this brand of tough talk? I guess depends who’s saying it.

WASHINGTON (CNN) — Secretary of State Hillary Clinton on Wednesday unveiled a diplomatic initiative to thwart attacks on ships off Somalia’s coast and combat what she called the “scourge of piracy.”
Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has called for measures to help combat pirate attacks off Somalia.

“Scourge of Piracy” sounds dangerously close to “War on Terror.” I am opposed to calling evil what it is, therefore, I would prefer calling it the “Issue of Boating.”

Clinton said the State Department will “explore ways to track and freeze pirate assets,” similar to measures used against drug traffickers and terrorists.

Shan’t we even have hearings? What about due process and the rights of these particular boaters? They might just be in the wrong boat at the wrong time? What if they’re just innocent fishermen? Forget Bushitler, how about Hilhitler?

Noting that the pirates have been buying more sophisticated vessels with the ransom money they have been collecting, Clinton said it could be possible to stop boat-building companies from doing business with pirates.

“These pirates are criminals. They are armed gangs on the sea. And those plotting attacks must be stopped, and those who have carried them out must be brought to justice,” she told reporters after a meeting with Haitian Prime Minister Michele Duvivier Pierre-Louis.

The United States also will work with shippers and insurers to strengthen their defenses against pirates and will call for immediate meetings of an international counterpiracy task force to expand naval cooperation, Clinton said.

Although she did not suggest the use of military force, she mentioned “going after” pirate land bases in Somalia, which is authorized in a U.N. Security Council resolution passed in December.

Wait, I am outraged! When did Somalia ever attack us? How dare the US consider “going after” targets in a country that hasn’t attacked us!

3 Responses to “Clinton Unveils Initiative to Combat ‘Scourge of Piracy’”

  1. I have one question I ask myself about this kind of stuff:

    Do industrialized nations have smaller budgets and less access to firepower than these pirates? It seems that when people on these freighters shoot back, the pirates run away. Astonishing.

  2. travis

    ryan, let’s keep it on topic here, please. i need you and everyone out there to focus on what will happen to our standing in the world community if we unilaterally “go after” these small, relatively harmless, maritime freedom salvagers.

    also, please be cautious of upsetting these peaceful, hardworking people by using inflammatory and divisive terms from that old style politics of fear. please follow my lead in the future and refer to them as maritime freedom salvagers. this will prevent us from inciting violence and basically deserving whatever we get for being so rude to them.

    thanks in advance!

  3. My apologies. Perhaps I was too arrogant, proud, even derisive. I’ll temper my rhetoric and I think it’s an important point you make about taking it slow, and not making decisions out of fear. Let us wield the scepter of foresight to avoid rash action. We ought to open a dialog with these maritime freedom salvagers to be clear that we’re approaching this as an equal partner in the issue of boating.