all-encompassingly

this is another unpublished 2004 post. in this post, i satirize the claims of democrats that bush timed the florida hurricane warnings in an attempt to influence the election results. little did i know that a year later, democrats would be claiming that bush caused hurricane katrina, another natural phenomenon. — travis

The peak [hurricane] season has begun. “Once you hit the first of August, things ramp up very fast,” the National Weather Service’s Dennis Decker said Tuesday. The National Hurricane Center predicts Bonnie will become a hurricane and hit the Panhandle on Thursday…This weekend, Charley might also hit Florida’s Gulf Coast as a hurricane. [source]

minutes after these doomsday announcements, carefully orchestrated for release by the republican regime, the major networks and the less popular cable news channels fought back. here are some excerpts of their reactions:

“in what appears to be a very carefully orchestrated leak, residents of the battleground state of florida are being threatened by a partisan weather report” said dan rather, of CBS news. “certainly we must question the timing” he added. “conservatives have a history of disenfranchising florida voters, but this tactic appears to be a particularly conniving attempt to steal another election for george w bush.”

“this administration has been terrorizing americans with disasters for a long time” claimed college dropout and key democratic strategist michael moore. “remember september 11th? the california wildfires? tax cuts? these disasters were all performed by george w bush. now, he is using his evil powers to summon rain, hail, and high winds.”

dozens of fawning reporters interviewed kerry supporter, howard dean, who explained that the weather data was “outdated. it’s several days old. i tell you right now that the hurricanes have no intention of striking inside the US. and i just find the timing incredible. the same week that john kerry is on his historic rail tour, bush pushes through this amazingly irresponsible alert. he’s trying to steal senator kerry’s train bounce.”

i’m just venting here, but with the reaction that has come from democrats and american news organizations at the selection of porter goss for CIA director, i have finally just thrown up my hands. if the timing of one more action by president bush or the republican congress is called into question, i think i’m going to explode. i just can’t take it anymore. here’s my semi-complete [note: this is as of 2004] list of recent times liberals have called an action by the bush administration or conservatives in congress “politically motivated” or “of questionable timing”, off the top of my head. please feel free to inform me of any i may have missed.

• vote in congress to enforce resolution 1441 by force (i can’t remember when this took place…fall 2002?). democrats whined because it was an election year. conservatives called the vote because bloodthirsty islamofascists wanted to kill us immediately. sorry for our impatience. all in all, it took 15 months to finally go in there, anyway. but that doesn’t stop john kerry from saying the president “rushed” to war.
• a vote to have a vote on the federal marriage amendment a month ago. it wasn’t even a vote on the FMA, just a vote to go ahead with the vote. but liberals called it politics. conservatives called the vote because they recognize that the nature of the time-tested institution that has served society and sheltered most of us during difficult young years is already being declared outdated by liberal elitist judges.
• the revelation of sandy berger’s crimes with national security implications. the man, a former national security advisor under clinton, went into the national archives and removed documents (purportedly by stuffing some in his pants, jacket, and socks). he later returned some–but not all–of the documents. this was just before he was to testify before the 9/11 commission. but this was not really questioned by the main stream media. the main area of concern for liberals was that it came at such a time! right before then democratic national convention! right after kerry chose edwards to be his lover–i mean parter–i mean veep.
• the terror alert for NY, NJ, and DC. howard dean, notably, called it an attempt by the bush administration to limit kerry’s DNC bounce. after all, some of the intelligence was three or four years old. yes! and if we would’ve announced a similar warning in august or early september 2001, some of the intelligence then would have been up to five years old. and the attack would then have occurred just days or weeks later. in fact, some of the intelligence spurring the heightened alerts this summer was dated this year.
• now, finally, the whines that pointed me to a possible pattern: when florida congressman porter goss was selected by president bush to succeed george tenet as CIA director, it just became too obvious. liberals have nothing else to say…no arguments to make…except “bad timing!”