all-encompassingly

we still remember mitch hedberg

A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.

Jun 22nd 2003

doug has left the building

doug has moved out. he has moved on to bigger things, such as argentina (with a total undisputed area of 2.8 million square kilometers). he will continue to e-visit us, via the blog, and will hopefully have some wonderful, heartwarming stories about argentina, including–but not limited to–how he could buy the entire economically devastated nation for the about the cost of a moderately-priced item from williams-sonoma.

i wish doug the best. and thank him for teaching me so much…such as what a “computer” is, and how to turn it on. and for sending me ann coulter’s book slander last summer, which had the kind of effect on me that i’ve heard the santa biblia or ayn rand’s atlas shrugged has on other people.

it should also be noted that doug has a news service intravenously connected to his body. we lived together for nearly two years, and i never once said, “doug! have you heard about ____” without him already being well-informed on the subject. this goes for breaking news, insider-style rumors…everything. it is uncanny. he goes above and beyond “informed citizen.”

so here’s to you, doug! good luck in argentina, and i hope your spanish improves a little!

i would’ve given doug a nalgene bottle for his trip, but he should keep to commercially bottled water while he’s there. tapeworms, che!

nalgene.jpg

5 Responses to “doug has left the building”

  1. Kerri and Joni

    we are going to miss Doug. he is our hero, we are sorry that we didn’t get to say goodbye, we have shed many tears. good luck with all of the hot argentine women, come back a man, but don’t come back married so that we can get a piece. please remember us, te queremos.

    i love nalgene bottles also, i have loved my wide neck one for a year or so now, but i think that i am going to move onto the narrow one, easier sipping.

  2. so you girls have stopped posting comments under your odd little code names, i see.

    maybe you can influence another frequent commenter, “bob” to follow your example and come out of the closet, too. tell him how liberated you feel!

  3. Kerri and Joni

    We don’t know what you are talking about, fake names? “bob” liberate yourself, tell travis who you really are!

  4. Kerri and Joni

    The “code” isn’t all that hard to break anyway, give it a try.

  5. Rachel

    Hey… Juan has a Nalgene bottle too! It’s like a phenomenon! He too claims it makes his water better?! Right now I just recycle old sport top cheap plastic water bottles. However, if this craze continues, I may just have to jump on the bandwagon myself.