all-encompassingly

kerry has held opposing positions on practically every political issue this election cycle. but there was one issue–one issue–about which he was steadfast and immovable! he desired that christopher reeve walk again. he mentioned this central campaign theme in the 2nd debate with president bush–and good thing he mentioned it–because i think most people were rooting against reeve until friday night. but superman is a personal friend of john kerry. so is michael j. fox.

kerry also has several retired generals who support him. and don’t forget, some republican congressmen, a republican governor, and the national republican party chairman have made statements he is willing to quote! he also served in vietnam. you may not have known these things! that’s why john kerry’s campaign decided last friday’s debate would have to become–officially–”Name Drop 2004″. [read the debate transcript]

in the debate, john kerry took a page out of the door-to-door salesman’s book and pretended that, by mentioning, slyly “you know, your neighbor blah blah blah” we would be convinced to buy his product. he dropped names of republican politicians, military men, people with brains, and other obvious conservatives.

but sadly, the kerry campaign now has no meaning. the man he wanted to become president to save–has died. i know it’s depressing, but look on the bright side. president bush will work to save the life of every soul–not just famous ones.

plus, i heard he’s friends with spiderman.
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comments are still down, so allen emails:

Back before the debates, wasn’t it Kerry and the gang who warned President Bush about using the victims of 9/11 to get political gain, which they ended up doing themselves… Christopher Reeve dies and Edwards is out blaming it on Bush the very day. It is ridiculous to think that anyone would be walking right now if there were fewer restrictions on stem cell research. They still don’t know if embryonic stem cells will even help the spinal cord. As we have all said many times, the Kerry campaign is full of political opportunists with no real agenda or platform. Or even, for that matter, a full brain between the lot of them.

UPDATE: scrappleface documents the ripple effect of edwards’ promises among terrorists who are in need of the senator’s miraculous healing powers [link]