we still remember mitch hedberg

A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.

Oct 31st 2003

law schools to offer new class: “escape tactics”

As the Robert Blake hearing was under way inside a Los Angeles courthouse Friday, there was a shooting outside.  Police say Jerry Curry, 53, was conscious and breathing as he arrived at a hospital for treatment.  He was shot several times in the upper body by a client. The shooter is in custody, while Curry is in stable condition.  MSNBC reported that the client yelled, 'You took my money. That's what you get,' as he shot at the lawyer.  He shot a small handgun as the lawyer tried to hide behind a tree.  An off-duty deputy then jumped on the shooter about 10 seconds after the shooting, and was joined by courthouse security personnel in subduing the shooter.  The lawyer then staggered around the shooting scene before collapsing.  The shooting occurred as a phalanx of camera crews were outside the courthouse covering the Blake case.

several top law schools have announced they will offer a new class beginning next fall. the class will be called “escape tactics in the legal profession”, and alan dershowitz of harvard law school says it may be the “most useful class” a perspective lawyer can take:

“more and more nowadays there is a need for practicioners of law to to litigate and elude, to bill and bolt, to rake-off and run, if you will. of course, we could try not being conniving weasels, or perhaps charging reasonable fees, but i believe asking that of lawyers is imprudent. our best recourse is a sound education in the lost art of the escape.”

dershowitz and others admit they were inspired by attorney jerry curry’s recent performance outside a van nuys, california courtroom. the “exquisite ‘bob and weave'” (as a gushing dershowitz describes it) was caught on tape by courtTV cameras covering the robert blake trial.

“his deft use of the tree there…that was brilliant. if i had used that move more, i could’ve gotten away with…well, let’s just say A LOT MORE LOOT without quite so many unsightly injuries. for example, i have received a glass eye, a prosthetic ear, and a silicone soul implant–all wounds i have incurred for being a lying SOB. ha! well, it’s all in a day’s work!” confessed a placid dershowitz, who then added, “i–and lawyers like me–should thank jerry curry for demonstrating how to avoid getting what’s coming to us.”

update: attorney ,gerald curry, relived this adventure two years later for CNN

4 Responses to “law schools to offer new class: “escape tactics””

  1. this is excellent.

  2. travis

    you mean it will be an excellent class?

    because i think so, too. especially if they use props, and prepare for real situations. maybe the lawyers could take class field trips to marinas where they could practice their nautical escapes in speed boats like on miami vice. or perhaps high-speed car chases on the streets of san francisco, like in that movie, “the rock”.

  3. another good educational video for them to watch would be “the italian job.” there is a good chase through the canals of venice. i think that they should start offering these classes at the law school here. hey, travis, there’s a good reason right there to go to law school.

  4. al

    A law school teaching street fighting techniques… Very inovative. Now who to teach such a difficult subject? 50 Cent, maybe. He and Eminem could do a tag team class. That would definately make school interesting!