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Dec 4th 2005

lydia cornell, genius (let me count the ways)

if you haven’t been following the miller light-style catfight from home, i recommend starting here, where you can read lydia cornell’s ridiculous email to ann coulter. then, if you’re interested, i’d like to enumerate the many ways in which cornell displays her intellectual eminence in her recent article on coulter.

first, let’s talk about the genius’ math skills. they’re lacking.

[some guy] defended the choice of Ann Coulter as the speaker for their BBQ “fundraiser” — saying they raised $20,000 for their party! (But they paid coulter $30,000 to speak; I don’t get the math.)

i KNOW! it’s, like, way mind-boggling! say gate receipts total $50,000. 50k-30k=20k. but seriously, $30,000 is a lot of money for a speaker. and lydia seems very bothered by this. only a conservative would try to make off with that kind of cash from normal, blue collar americans, right? wrong. al franken charges much more — $50,000 a pop, plus “travel and production costs.” but his show is a bargain at that price. there, you actually get to see live violence against republicans — showing techniques and strategies, in action!

also, did you notice the genius has a knack for writing, like, totally catchy leads to her articles? she was able to use $ex or some variation of it twice in her 8-word title although (ostensibly) intercourse had nothing to do with her piece at all. but lydia has an excuse for having $ex on the brain. first, because she (rightly) derides the $exism of hollywood in using $ex to sell movies (from lydiacornell.com):

“They objectify women, paint us into a corner. And only by gaining faith in ourselves and enriching our interior lives can we combat this social programming. But still, there really may be a plot – a very $exist plot to dumb women down. I mean, why is Paris Hilton famous? It’s possible that we are all being brainwashed and kept in fear so they can make money off our insecurities.”

secondly, because she has (oddly, considering the aforementioned) plastered her website with pictures of herself looking not unlike a hooker in revealing dresses and bathing suits. the hollywood $exists who objectify women probably made her do it.

lydia cornell is tired of hollywood $exists objectifying womens bodies and brainwashing them.  she has a weird way of showing it.

next,

I never mix religion with politics, but for Christ’s sake, don’t they know that Jesus was a Democrat?

actually, he eschewed politics. he didn’t want to be involved with them at all. “render unto caesar that which is caesar’s…” and that’s kind of the key. christ’s mission was not of this world. he came to save the eternal souls of men. on the other hand, george bush has a secular call to keep country safe, among other things. can you imagine if president bush stood at ground zero after the 9/11 attacks and proclaimed through that bullhorn, “my religious faith tells me that we should turn the other cheek on this and any future attacks on america!”?? that would have gone over real well (a) in the polls (b) in the stock market and (c) with regards to deterring terror attacks on americans.

finally, one must marvel at how lydia cornell critiques ann coulter (especially her tendency to wish death upon people she disagrees with) on the basis of having watched some anti-coulter documentary or something (apparently the piece mentioned here?). has the genius ever read anything ann coulter has written? her meticulously researched articles? her frequent use of humor and satire in her columns and book chapters? the jokes are not the central message of her work (but she is certainly more funny than al franken). the genius, cornell, apparently does stand-up comedy. you’d think she would understand how humor works.

unlike most of the people who criticize coulter, i have read her work. i have read every column she has written (most of them twice). i have read every book she has written (as well as most of the footnotes). she has occasionally, satirically, raised the blunt notion of eliminating liberals altogether. as far as i can tell, no one has ever taken her literally. on the other hand, many people have taken to al franken’s “recommendations” to physically assault conservatives and damage their property. perhaps ann’s readers are more intelligent? more capable of nuance? genius cornell doesn’t see it (and somehow, i’m not surprised).

i cannot end this purging without microfisking her conversation with bryan harman. she calls herself “deeply anti-pr*n.” she claims to have “banned Paris Hilton’s Carl’s Jr. commercial, and Britney Spears’ writhing belly-button” from her home (they were also, she notes, “Republican agendas,” though that accusation seems a little loose. were they “republican agendas” because they were on a ballot somewhere? is MTV run by republicans? or is she speaking about the evils of “free markets” generally?) it really doesn’t matter. her hypocrisy is ASTOUNDING, considering her own website’s revealing images, as well as her role in creating sleaze on tv. i have tried watching “curb your enthusiasm.” i would love it if it wasn’t so consistently crude. (her role on CYE: bra saleswoman).

back to the conversation. next, she apparently shouted,

I DON’T KNOW A SINGLE DEMOCRAT WHO IS PRO-ABORTION!

at first, when i read this, i thought “wow…either you’ve got some kind of abortion ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy, or you HAVE NO FRIENDS.”

but then i realized she’s a flip flopper. one minute, she’s yet to meet a pro-abortion democrat. the next minute (the very next sentence):

Democrats and reasonable people simply don’t subscribe to a Nazi state governing our bodies

ah, democrats and reasonable people are pro-abortion. but you’ve only met the reasonable people. is that what you’re saying? finally,

Pro-life to me means stop fighting senseless wars and killing our young soldiers and innocent Iraqi children.”

and pro-life to some people i know (and whom you claim never to have met) means abolishing the death penalty for convicted serial murderers and rapists, while applauding the unfettered right to abort babies. do you see how, with a little nuance, pro-life can mean many wonderful things?

gosh, i can’t wait for her next “book” to come out.

19 Responses to “lydia cornell, genius (let me count the ways)”

  1. john fowles

    I agree with you that her position and rhetoric are very frustrating. It is very scary to think that a lot of people think like she does. Her most basic conceptions of what conservatives think and believe is extremely distorted.

  2. Great post. But Travis, don’t you have some exams to study for?

  3. WORFEUS

    TRAVIS SAID :

    “actually, he eschewed politics. he didn’t want to be involved with them at all. “render unto caesar that which is caesar’s…” and that’s kind of the key. christ’s mission was not of this world. he came to save the eternal souls of men.”

    Nice, you sound more like a preacher than she does.

    TRAVIS SAID;

    “on the other hand, george bush has a secular call to keep country safe,”

    Yea? When is he gonna start doing that?

    TRAVIS SAID “can you imagine if president bush stood at ground zero after the 9/11 attacks and proclaimed through that bullhorn, “my religious faith tells me that we should turn the other cheek on this and any future attacks on america!”??”

    Yea, I can imagine that. And that’s a pretty good argument there Travis.

    Too bad she never made it.

    Just because she’s smart enough to know that Iraq had nothing to do with 911, a fact I imagine that is lost in here, does not mean she is weak on defense.

    Get your facts straight, like Ann Coulter does.

  4. WORFEUS

    Oh and BTW, what’s wrong with these pictures?

    She is not naked. And I certainly would not call them an eyesore, although your eyes may get sore staring at them.

    Since Travis wanted to preach Jesus, allow me to take this one out for a little ride.

    Just what is this right wing fascination with other people’s sexuality?

    Remember what he said to the self righteous pious crowd of the day when they brought to him a woman who they had deemed to be sexually unclean.

    “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.

    John 8:7

    Seems Jesus wasn’t nearly as concerned with all these sexual matters, as he was with what he outlined as the “weightier matters of the law”

    So why do right wingers get so caught up in it? Was Jesus referring to this kind of hypocrisy when he said,

    “Ye blind guides, which strain at a gnat, and swallow a camel”

    “and you have omitted the weightier matters of the law, judgment, mercy and faith”

    “for ye make clean the outside of the cup and of the platter, but within they are full of extortion and excess”

    “for ye are like unto whited sepulchres, which appear beautiful outward, but inside are full of dead men’s bones”

    Matthew 23:23-25

    See, not everyone who knows the bible, is on the right wing wagon.

    And I invite anyone to demonstrate where Christ taught the type of Christianity of hate, that the right wing Christian conservative party is spreading today.

    I will be happy to debate this with anyone who has a reasonable opposing view.

    In fact, it’s my pleasure.

  5. Ryan

    TRAVIS SAID “can you imagine if president bush stood at ground zero after the 9/11 attacks and proclaimed through that bullhorn, “my religious faith tells me that we should turn the other cheek on this and any future attacks on america!”??”

    Yea, I can imagine that. And that’s a pretty good argument there Travis.

    Too bad she never made it.

    Just because she’s smart enough to know that Iraq had nothing to do with 911, a fact I imagine that is lost in here, does not mean she is weak on defense.

    Woah!

    These terrorists are not trying to make a point Worfeus, they are trying to kill all of us if they can. You don’t just roll over and die for phsycotic murderers.

    Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11. Iraq was a volatile Islamic nation with a dictator bent on developing weapons to threaten others with and potentially the United States. There were terrorist ties, as well as straight up “crazy dictator hatching evil plans” ties. Take your pick.

  6. WORFEUS

    Whatever gets you up the hill in the morning.

    But if you think, that I am dumb enough to think, for one minute, that Iraq was nothing more than a get rich quick scheme, and I ain’t talking about the oil, with a little wag the dog thrown in for good measure, then you have me confused with one of those dried up scarecrows they get to sit along side right wing pundits to make it look like the show is balanced.

    Iraq had about as much chance of inflicting any real damage on the US as Don Knott’s would have in the ring trying to inflict damage on Mike Tyson.

    I can honestly say, I am more afraid of my own government now, since you guys took over, than I ever could have possibly been from Iraq.

    We should have never bothered. And now that were there we need to stop using our troops as live bait to root out insurgents, and move them out of harms way.

    And do spare me the “we must honor the sacrifice of our fallen troops” rhetoric.

    Apparently the only way you can come up with to honor the sacrifice of our troops, is to sacrifice more of our troops.

  7. WORFEUS

    Oh and if you’re that afraid of the terrorists there Travis? I suggest you go purchase an underground bunker and move into it.

    In the meantime, allow me to interject a little republican wisdom from a once apparently wise man.

    ___________________________________________________

    I think it is vitally important for a President to know when to use military force.

    I think it is also very important for him to know when not to commit U.S. military force.

    And it’s my view that the President got it right both times, that it would have been a mistake for us to get bogged down in the quagmire inside Iraq.”

    Richard Cheney, April 29, 1991
    ______________________________________________________

  8. WORFEUS

    “and the question in my mind is how many additional American casualties is Saddam worth?

    And the answer is not very damned many.”

    Richard Cheney, August, 1992

  9. WORFEUS

    “The executive (President) has no right, in any case, to decide the question, whether there is or is not cause for declaring war”

    James Madison
    4th President of the United States and architect of the Constitution

  10. WORFEUS

    When you get into the bunker Travis, let me know. Gimme a cell phone number or something, and I’ll call you when it’s safe to come out.

    WORFEUS

  11. Nice, you sound more like a preacher than she does

    you missed my point. preaching is not wrong, it’s right. that lydia denounces preachy christians (and then proceeds to preach to them) is what is particularly ridiculous.

    Yea? When is he gonna start doing that?

    please recount for me the number of terrorist attacks in america since 9/11. you may use the comment section below and extra sheets of paper if necessary.

    that’s a pretty good argument there Travis. Too bad she never made it.

    she asked that we turn the other cheek. the hypothetical president bush in my example did just that, and in a very christian way. the point (as you have so clearly illustrated for all of us) is that this republican president cannot win with democrats, no matter what position he takes in the war on terror. a few years ago, i went back and read the 2000 democratic party platform — read my comments here. amazingly democrats claimed to espouse a position exactly opposite their current position.

    Iraq was nothing more than a get rich quick scheme

    yeah, that $87 billion has really provided some steep economic returns!

    When you get into the bunker Travis, let me know. Gimme a cell phone number or something, and I’ll call you when it’s safe to come out.

    the previous comment on this thread (that i think you’re responding to) was made by ryan.

    personally, i have about zero fear of terrorists. i live in middle america. i fly on a plane out of a small airport and spend only short amounts of time in large cities each year.

    i’m not in the line of fire. the people who will die when terrorists strike us again will be liberals on the coasts and in the big cities (just look at the red-blue electoral map from the 2004 election).

    good luck, worfeus.

  12. WORFEUS

    Travis Said

    “please recount for me the number of terrorist attacks in america since 9/11. you may use the comment section below and extra sheets of paper if necessary”

    Our national security has been a laughing stock since 911. We run around like chickens with our heads cut off and the Federal Government just recieved an all F’s report card of how they’ve handled national security.

    I think we can both agree that no more than we can blame President Bush for 911 can we credit him with the fact that terrorist have not struck us again.

    Bin Laden made it clear that his timetable was perhaps based on a much more slower clock than ours. Invading the Muslim Holy land like Charlemagne or Richard the Lionheart is about as smart as not wanting to get stung by a be and then hitting a wasps nest with a stick.

    Not too bright, but hey, you guys know what you’re doing right? I mean you’ve done great so far. :|

    Good Night, and Good Luck

  13. Bocephus

    As is usually the case with most debates between self-described liberals and conservatives, distortion rules. I’ve come to the conclusion that the only level-headed people left are moderates, people who can see the merits of both sides of an argument and are willing to accept that there are shades of gray and that people of good will can think very different things based on their basic mental framework, as well as their life experiences. Bush is not the anti-christ. He IS a very limited man in terms of his grasp of complex issues. He believed that going to Iraq was good for America and oil was not involved in his decision. His belief that Iraq was a serious threat was mistaken, though. Oh, what’s the use. This all will be filtered in your minds in such a way that distortion, yet again, will result. It’s a shame. People talking at people, rather than to them.

  14. I’ve come to the conclusion that the only level-headed people left are moderates, people who can see the merits of both sides of an argument and are willing to accept that there are shades of gray

    good point. who do you tend to agree with more? lydia cornell? ann coulter? neither?

  15. [...] *lydia cornell, genius (let me count the ways) — part I of the impromptu series pitting the vacuous lydia cornell versus the footnotious ann coulter. Posted by travis in personal stuff, travis | [...]

  16. [...] –Worfeus, Dec 2005 [link] Talk about something more substantive and defensible. You’re a troll….You must be Mormon….[I’m not] a complete a** and intellectual midget such as yourself….I won’t bother with this site anymore. That is completely asinine! [...]

  17. max

    Travis, you have such a misguided and un-Christian view of the world. Remember God is love and perfect love casts out fear.

    How can you be in fear of terrorists when Jesus said “love casts out fear.” If you have faith in God you do not dwell in fear.

    Lydia Cornell has a wonerful understanding of Christ’s teachings. I have read most of her archives on faith and am amazed at the inspired beauty of her writings.

    For you to condemn her means you have not any understanding at all.

    But who am I to judge?

  18. travis

    For you to condemn her means you have not any understanding at all.

    But who am I to judge?

    talk about covering your bases! just as i have done to lydia, you criticize me because you find remarks misguided and /or offensive, yet, because you admit, “who am i to judge?” that makes it all okay.

    tell you what: i will go back and edit my original post so at the end it says, “but who am i to judge?”

    am i christian now?

  19. Mark

    Travis, how about you stop, smell the posies, spin the numbers, eat some lunch, donate your time, wax a car, or read a book? Stop making “sense”…worry about all the double talkers in office who are actually capable of inflicting harm. Ms. Cornell may only be an actress, in your estimation, but still she has an active mind and conscience. Perhaps those in Washington insisting on blind faith could learn a thing or three. You, too.