all-encompassingly

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Jan 18th 2005

mark cuban on randy moss’ “fake-moon”

like most sane, normal people, i imagined the worst when ESPN sportscenter wouldn’t even show randy moss’ “tasteless” touchdown celebration the morning after minnesota beat green bay last week. i can’t remember exactly, but i think one anchor might have said, “randy has finally gone over the edge” or something to that effect.

“did he slaughter a calf in the endzone? perform a clintonesque act on the packers mascot? it must have been something positively scandalous!”, i thought.

since it was “too obscene” for TV, i could only read about it online. WHERE I LEARNED IT WAS A “FAKE-MOON” (in other words, it was FAKE!).

later, i saw the video. it was DEFINITELY a fake moon, lasting all of, oh, half-a-second. no nudity. no dead livestock. the TV announcer for the game, fox’s joe buck, called the celebration, “disgusting” and said, he was “shocked that we aired it live.”

naturally, the NFL fined moss $10,000 (they must have taken note of all the sports anchors fainting).

it makes me wonder if these people have ever ridden on a school bus before.

mark cuban suggests that, in the future, when posterity looks back at the incident, the joke will be on all the breathless journalists who huffed and puffed at this nonexistant controversy.

While Randy Moss will be able to laugh about the response and soon forget about it, those in the media will find their future peers snickering at them. “Hey, you’re the guy that got all bent out of shape when Randy Moss faked mooning the crowd. It was a joke, right? You were kidding about it. Right? Please tell me you weren’t serious…You were. Really?…that’s interesting. And you are supposed to be one of the better journalists of your time? Good for you. Must have been interesting times.”
[read it all]

2 Responses to “mark cuban on randy moss’ “fake-moon””

  1. Beautiful. My favorite part was later in the week when Sportscenter conducted a poll and found that …. surprise! Nobody thought it was that big of a deal. Please.
    You know the Green Bay fans do it for real to a losing teams busses as they pull out of the parking lot…

  2. The press blew this out of proportion, and Randy Moss became my favorite player when a reporter asked if he was concerned about the 10K fine:

    “It ain’t nothing but 10 grand. What’s 10 grand to me? It ain’t [expletive]. Next time I might shake my [another body part].”

    Hahahaha, I might shake my [body part], that is so funny.

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