all-encompassingly

well, i think it’s time to close out our poll. all of the candidates (deservedly) received votes, but in the end, william jefferson clinton, or “american president who deftly escape jail time” as it is translated in japanese, is our outright winner. he received nearly a third of the total votes, despite the presence of seven other formidable (miserable?) candidates. here are the complete results.

who is the MOST miserable failure?
1. jimmy carter, wimp 14% (6 votes)
2. bill clinton: perjurer; corporate defrauder; male giggolo 30% (13 votes)
3. al franken, lying liar 14% (6 votes)
4. the UN. motto: “we’ll govern you! with or WITHOUT authority…” 20% (9 votes)
5. chicago cubs 2% (1 vote)
6. saddam hussein’s mom, for believing that pro-life garbage when we had a REALLY good chance to take him out peacefully 5% (2 votes)
7. US supreme court. for looking internationally for legal precedents. 14% (6 votes)

then we got this great comment:

Read this and tell me about miserably failure! http://www.cnn.com/2002/ALLPOLITICS/12/09/column.shields.opinion.clinton/

and my response:

armando, are you talking about the shields article or your own grammar?

anyway, clinton not only disgraced the united states of america with his actions, he compounded that with his unbelievably shady cover up attempts. read any of the dozens of books written on it, okay?

i mean, we’re america. we try to think we have some standards. you don’t even hear about the leader of, i dunno, the philipines (wherever they have lots of hookers, i’m not real informed on this) getting as much action as our last president. its embarrassing.

that’s why he’s miserable. sure, inarguably lots of presidents have engaged in similarly uncouth actions. however, as in the case of richard nixon, he eventually realized his resignation was the only way to right the damage done to the office of president and the nation.

i doubt BJ “draft dodger” clinton even considered that option. he was too busy ordering flowers for kathleen willey, calling monica and urging her to lie to the jury, and burning his real estate records to find the time to draft his resignation speech.