all-encompassingly

On the issue of depth, Obama’s campaign appears on track to be the first ever to look up to the “Today” show writers. “Today” (and most of the morning shows of that sort) are written to such a base intelligence level. Perhaps the shows should get a pass because they target people who are sleepy, and if they used big words or ever ventured into describing specific concepts, they would scare people. But Obama’s campaign is like that. It is targeted toward people who experienced their life’s most significant moral epiphanies in their kindergarten class. In that way, it is like the Robert Fulghum campaign: everything you need to know, you learned in kindergarten. For example:

1. Change is what you want (think of it like ice cream! It doesn’t matter what kind it is, it’s always delicious!)
2. Hope is so wonderful, just saying it brings you peace inside (like going to a wonderful petting zoo!)
3. If you ever get in trouble, just blame someone else and throw them under the bus (which is where all the bad things and people go)

et cetera.

Obama and his team have already mastered the art of defending flip-flopping, by doing so completely devoid of any substance. It doesn’t matter what they said before or what they say now. They can be completely the opposite. But Obama and his surrogates will preface anything they say in response to this question with some magic words that get the little six year olds they think are watching to look the other direction. Whenever anyone challenges him for changing positions on an issue, he responds by saying, “What I have consistently said….” or “I have been very clear….” These phrases work like a charm on the members of the media who have drunken the Obamassiah’s kool-aid. “No, Obama has been consistent and clear! He doesn’t flip! He’s not going back on his promise to use public financing or get out of Iraq in 16 months or meet with terrorist-funding dictators without preconditions or be a member of a racist church or be friends with Scarlett Johanson!” They latch onto these magic words and start looking for the other droids they were looking for.

Its too bad John McCain is too old and stupid to win this election, because Obama is horrible.

Update, 24 July 2008: Allahpundit has picked up on this idea, commenting on Obama’s Berlin speech.

for a supposed rhetorical genius, Barry never actually delivers any memorable lines, does he? It’s the circumstances of his speeches that make them “memorable.” The best he can do by way of takeaways is Zen pap like “Yes, we can” or “We are the ones we’ve been waiting for” or today’s latest mindless positive affirmation, “This is our moment, this is our time.” Here’s my own favorite line, seemingly plucked from one of Jerry Springer’s concluding Thought for the Day segments:

True partnership and true progress requires constant work and sustained sacrifice.

How true that is. But perhaps not as true as:

The road ahead will be long.

For extra fun, try adding “in bed” to the end of each of his sentences. As petty as McCain’s attacks lately on Obama’s popularity have been, I sympathize with his emperor’s-new-clothes predicament on this point. It’s one thing for the media to politely ignore that this crap is cliche and an inch deep, but to actually celebrate it as evidence of eloquence? If the donation ratio is 100 to 1 now, imagine what it would be if you treated that as an in-kind contribution.

There’s one worthwhile paragraph, so let me quote it in the interests of fairness. Obama still hasn’t gotten the memo yet that his base isn’t as keen on an Afghan adventure as he claims to be, and doubtless no such memo will be forthcoming until the election’s safely won. Quote:

This is the moment when we must renew our resolve to rout the terrorists who threaten our security in Afghanistan, and the traffickers who sell drugs on your streets. No one welcomes war. I recognize the enormous difficulties in Afghanistan. But my country and yours have a stake in seeing that NATO’s first mission beyond Europe’s borders is a success. For the people of Afghanistan, and for our shared security, the work must be done. America cannot do this alone. The Afghan people need our troops and your troops; our support and your support to defeat the Taliban and al Qaeda, to develop their economy, and to help them rebuild their nation. We have too much at stake to turn back now.

As hackneyed a formulation as that is, the sentiment makes it as close to a memorable line as you’ll find here.

Forget kindergarten, Allah notes that some lines from Obama’s speeches are straight out of the Goonies movie.