we still remember mitch hedberg

A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.

May 27th 2003

sultaana: champion of individual rights (UPDATED)


a woman in florida, sultaana freeman, is suing the DMV. they won’t let her drive because she won’t remove her head and face covering to take the crucial ID photo. the veil apparently has something to do with her being a muslim, and nothing to do with her and her husband’s criminal records. notably, judge janet thorpe did not allow sultaana freeman’s full-face jail mug shots or criminal history to be included as evidence. [read the article]

in anticipation of the court ruling that freeman will be permitted to forego any type of picture identification due to her religious views, several groups have jumped at the chance to expand their individual rights at the expense of the rights of others.


the burglars union, north america chapter, is recommending that all its members align themselves with the muslim faith. “the, uh…endorsement isn’t so much…doctrinal,” said a burglars union spokesman tuesday, “we really just think it’ll help us keep from gittin’ caught by the po-po.”


the KKK also wants a piece of the action, announcing it will request the same photo-ID exemptions for its members. “yee-haw!” a klansman was reported to whoop, “ain’t no WAY we’s gittin’ prostecutered now!”

high school students, too, see the benefit of a court precedent in favor of freeman and her cause. they are requesting driver’s licenses without the “under 21” stamp. chants of “blatant ageism!” and “hell no! we won’t grow!” were heard outside local high schools during the lunch hour.

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ironically, if sultaana were to go to a muslim country like saudi arabia, she wouldn’t be permitted to drive. her driving would violate some basic tenet of sunni islam. because she’s a woman.

the question is, then, is sultaana refusing to remove the veil out of piety? if she was really pious, wouldn’t she deny herself the right to drive?

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23.june.2003 this is how it all turned out.


the judge ruled that since even islamic countries make women take identification photographs without their veils, that the great satan could, too.

apparently in islam, women have to wear veils. however, how low cut womens’ necklines are doesn’t really matter. (see photo, left)

2 Responses to “sultaana: champion of individual rights (UPDATED)”

  1. A few months after their busiest part of the legal season (Christmas time, and you know what that means: hundreds of creches that need to be removed from city hall lawns), the ACLU now appears to be on a roll. While card carrying members decry the rush to judgment against Scott Peterson, official representatives want ex-cons to be ridded of the photo-id inconvenience. Yet now that drivers licenses are protected areas for religious speech, will the ACLU support putting such slogans as “In God We Trust” on them? I suppose that we’ll just have to wait.

  2. Richard

    So true, so true. I think if I was a woman I’d move to Iran and wear a bikini all the time and drive a go-kart around in the streets.