we still remember mitch hedberg

A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.

Mar 14th 2003

UPI reports on the impotence of france

UPI reports on the impotence of france:

LISBON, Portugal, March 10 (UPI) — Portugal is siding with the United States on Iraq because Washington was “Portugal’s best way to ensure national security,” a Portuguese Cabinet minister said Monday.

Foreign Minister Antonio Martins da Cruz told state radio that if Portugal were attacked, “it would be unlikely France and Germany would come to our rescue.”

He said: “Let us suppose Portugal, proper or its archipelagos, faced a threat, who would come to our rescue? The European Commission, France, Germany?”I think it would be NATO who would come to our rescue, in other words, it would be the U.S., no one else would defend us.

For instance, during the 1996 mission in Bosnia, operations took place with the support of 20 satellites, of which only one was European,” and the remainder belonged to the U.S.

“If we were attacked, is that what they would offer to defend us? How curious is this: in Bosnia, when we were called to send soldiers urgently to that region, the U.S. had C-17 and C-130 planes, and France leased ferry boats, which during the summer are employed in tourist services to Corsica.”Is this how we are supposed to project our forces in Europe? Are they planning to defend us with ferry boats? I cannot envisage the European Commission protecting us from an attack in which highly developed weapons were employed,” the foreign minister said.

i watched “monty python and the holy grail” last night with some friends. is it just me, or does the ultra-crass frenchman hurling insults, lies, and projectiles from the french castle and then castle aarrrggh symbolize all the french people, and specifically jaques chirac, the worm himself? the frenchman in the movie is easy to recognize as a coward, because he is hiding behind a physical wall of stone. chirac, though is just as much a coward as the ill-bred, witless movie character. he is hiding behind dishonest diplomacy and stinky french cheese. i mean, would it even sound odd if chirac used an exact quote from the castle of aarrrggh scene when he addressed president bush or prime minister blair?


FRENCH GUARD: Allo, dappy English k-niggets and Monsieur Arthur King, who has the brain of a duck, you know. So, we French fellows outwit you a second time! How you English say, ‘I one more time, mac, unclog my nose in your direction’, sons of a window-dresser! So, you think you could out-clever us French folk with your silly knees-bent running about advancing behavior?! I wave my private parts at your aunties, you cheesy lot of second hand electric donkey-bottom biters. No chance, English bed-wetting types. I burst my pimples at you and call your door-opening request a silly thing, you tiny-brained wipers of other people’s bottoms! Yes, depart a lot at this time and cut the approaching any more, or we fire arrows at the tops of your heads and make castanets out of your testicles already! Ha ha haaa ha! And now, remain gone, illegitimate-faced bugger-folk! And, if you think you got a nasty taunting this time, you ain’t heard nothing yet, dappy English k-nnniggets! Thpppt! [taunting] …Dappy!…Hoo hoo! Ohh, ha ha ha ha ha!…


maybe the real world powers, the US and Britain should appease the french. yeah. let’s forget the quest for the holy grail for a while. instead, lets bomb the castle aarrrggh.

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