all-encompassingly

we still remember mitch hedberg

A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.

Apr 27th 2003

who’s laundering money, harry?

an article in last december’s blood-horse magazine reported on harry reid’s efforts to outlaw internet wagering, a ban he seeks because of his fears that the web is prone to be used as a vehicle for laundering money. reid’s home state of nevada has been washing the money of italian gangsters for years, and currently has a corner on the market. “it would be a terrible shame if criminals began laundering money from the comfort of their own homes,” said reid. “i don’t know what life in nevada would be like without them.”

and, of course, if criminals learned to do it, the average joe probably would, too. “if people continue to gamble without coming to our casinos, it will only be a matter of time before we have to put celine dion out into the streets. as it is, she’s still waiting for the lucky twelvth person to buy a ticket to her las vegas act.”

harry reid.jpg

US senator harry reid, (d-nv), shown in his space-age new home. perhaps ill-advisedly, we joked with harry that he must’ve had to launder “a sweet load of cash” to pay for the thing, at which point senator reid turned pale, faked a laugh, and glanced nervously from side to side.

One Response to “who’s laundering money, harry?”

  1. "bob"

    hey, do you think Mitch is the drummer in the audioslave video?